Kingdom Living Insights – Biblical Virtues Series – Joy and Its Opposites

In this series, we’re looking at the godly qualities, the biblical virtues, that the Lord wants to form in us as we follow Him. These are not just nice ideas, but real fruit that grows in a heart that is walking with the Holy Spirit. The opposite of these virtues are what Scripture calls the works of the flesh, sins, and evil attitudes.

In the first post, I used the word “vices” because that’s a term many Christians are familiar with. But going forward, I want to stick closer to the Bible’s own language. So I will be speaking of virtues and the works of the flesh / sins / evil attitudes, just as the New Testament does.

 

Joy and Its Opposites

I chose joy and its opposites for this next post because joy is listed as fruit of the Spirit, while despair, hopelessness, bitterness, complaining, ingratitude, and sin are attitudes and choices that drain our strength and distance us from God’s presence.

Biblical joy is far more than just feeling happy when life goes well. It’s a deep, steady gladness that comes from knowing God, trusting His goodness, and resting in His promises, even when circumstances are hard. The opposites – despair, hopelessness, bitterness, complaining, ingratitude, and sin in general – show up when we lose hope, hold on to hurt, focus on what’s wrong, refuse to thank God, or walk away from His ways.

The original languages of the Bible give us a richer picture of what joy really is.

In Hebrew, one of the main words for joy is simchah (שִׂמְחָה). It carries the idea of gladness, mirth, and even brightness – some scholars say the root meaning is “to shine” or “to be bright.” This word is used for festival joy, worship, and the deep gladness that comes from God Himself.

In Greek, the word for joy in Galatians 5:22 is chara (χαρά). It means delight, gladness, or rejoicing. This is not just a fleeting emotion, but a settled state of heart that comes from knowing the Lord. The related verb, chairo, means “to rejoice” or “be glad.”

Galatians 5:22 (WEB) says: “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith…” That word “joy” here is chara – a deep, Spirit-given gladness.

 

What Joy Is and What It Isn’t

Biblical joy is not the same as constant happiness. We can feel sad, tired, or overwhelmed and still have joy in the Lord. Joy is rooted in who God is and what He has done, not in how our day is going.

Nehemiah 8:10 (WEB) says: “Don’t be grieved, for the joy of Yahweh is your strength.” Notice that it’s not “our joy” but “the joy of Yahweh” – joy that comes from Him and is sustained by Him.

Philippians 4:4 (WEB) repeats this call: “Rejoice in the Lord always! Again I will say, “Rejoice!” Paul wrote this from prison, not from a palace. That shows us that joy in the Lord is possible even in suffering.

1 Thessalonians 5:16–18 (WEB) adds another layer: “Always rejoice. Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you.” Joy, prayer, and thankfulness are closely connected. When we pray and give thanks, joy grows. When we stop praying and stop thanking God, joy often fades.

James 1:2–4 even tells us to “count it all joy” when we face trials, because testing produces endurance and maturity. This doesn’t mean we pretend pain isn’t real, but that we trust God to use it for our good.

 

Sorrow and Grief Are Not the Opposite of Joy

Many people think that sorrow and grief are the opposite of joy, but the Bible shows us something more nuanced. You can have deep joy in the Lord and still experience real sorrow.

Jesus Himself is our greatest example. Hebrews 12:2 (WEB) says that He “for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising its shame.” He had joy, yet He also suffered deeply and wept at the tomb of His friend Lazarus. The Apostle Paul spoke of being “sorrowful, yet always rejoicing” (2 Corinthians 6:10, WEB). This tells us that joy and sorrow can exist together in the same heart.

Sorrow and grief are natural responses to pain, loss, and suffering in a broken world. They are not sins. God is near to the brokenhearted, and He does not reject us when we cry out to Him in pain. Biblical joy is not the absence of tears; it’s the presence of God in the middle of those tears.

So sorrow and grief are not the true opposites of joy. The real opposites are attitudes and choices that cut us off from God, who is the source of joy.

 

Depression, Chronic Illness, and Joy

I also want to say something about depression, because many believers struggle with this. Depression can have many different causes: physical, emotional, situational, and sometimes spiritual. It’s not always a sign of weak faith or unconfessed sin. Sometimes it’s simply part of the brokenness we live in as humans.

I myself have had dysthymia (a mild but long-term form of depression) since childhood. Even with that, I have the joy of the Lord in my heart. This has taught me that joy and depression can exist at the same time. Joy is not the absence of pain or heavy feelings. It’s the presence of God in the middle of that pain.

On top of that, I also live with several chronic health issues. Some days are very tough. I often feel fatigued, weak, and even crushed in my body. But even on those days, my joy for the Lord is still there. It doesn’t always look like excitement or energy. Sometimes it’s just a quiet knowing that God is good and always there for me, even when my body is not. Sometimes it’s whispering, “Thank You, Jesus,” through tears and pain.

You can feel low, tired, and emotionally heavy, and still have the joy of the Lord burning quietly inside you. Joy doesn’t always look like smiling and being energetic. Sometimes it looks like whispering, “Lord, I trust You,” when everything in you feels dark. Sometimes it looks like getting out of bed, opening your Bible, and saying, “God, I don’t feel much today, but I know You are with me.”

If you struggle with depression, chronic illness, or long-term pain, please know: you are not alone, and you are not disqualified from God’s love or from His joy. He is near to the brokenhearted. He can carry what you cannot. And He can form His joy in you even in the middle of long-term heaviness.

 

The Opposites: Despair, Hopelessness, Bitterness, Complaining, Ingratitude, and Sin

If joy is a deep, God-centered gladness, then its true opposites are attitudes and choices that drain us and pull us away from trust. The following are some of the main opposites we see in Scripture, though there are certainly others that could be named.

• Despair and hopelessness say, “There is no hope. God has forgotten me. Things will never change.” They fix our eyes on problems instead of promises.

• Bitterness grows when we hold on to hurt and refuse to forgive. It quietly poisons our heart and makes us suspicious of God’s goodness.

• Complaining focuses on what’s wrong instead of what’s right. It trains our mouth and mind to see lack instead of provision.

• Ingratitude (ungratefulness) refuses to thank God for what He has given. It takes blessings for granted and acts as if everything is owed to us. The Bible describes people who “knew God, but they didn’t glorify Him as God, and they weren’t thankful” (Romans 1:21). Ingratitude quietly starves joy, because a heart that does not thank God soon forgets His goodness.

• Sin in general is a major opposite of joy, because sin separates us from God, who is the source of all joy. Isaiah 59:2 (WEB) says, “But your iniquities have separated you and your God, and your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear.” When we walk in unrepentant sin, we distance ourselves from the very One who gives us joy. That’s why confession, repentance, and walking in the light are so important for a joyful life.

The Bible warns against these attitudes again and again. Proverbs 17:22 (WEB) says: “A cheerful heart makes good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” A “crushed spirit” here points to despair, hopelessness, and heaviness of heart – the opposite of a joyful, trusting heart.

In the New Testament, believers are told to put away bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander, with all malice (Ephesians 4:31), and to avoid complaining and arguing (Philippians 2:14). These attitudes grieve the Holy Spirit and choke joy.

Despair, hopelessness, bitterness, complaining, ingratitude, and sin often feed each other. We get hurt, we don’t forgive, we start complaining, we stop thanking God, and slowly we slip into hopelessness. But the Gospel offers another way: bringing our pain to God, choosing forgiveness, practicing thankfulness, and refusing to let bitterness take root.

 

Growing in Joy

The good news is that we don’t have to produce joy on our own. As we walk with the Holy Spirit, He gradually forms chara in us. He teaches us to rejoice in the Lord, to bring our worries to Him in prayer, and to give thanks in all circumstances.

Joy shows up in quiet, practical ways: thanking God for small blessings, worshiping even when we don’t feel like it, choosing to trust God’s character when life doesn’t make sense, and refusing to let bitterness, ingratitude, or sin take root. And for those of us who live with depression and chronic illness, joy can also look like holding on to God when our emotions are flat or heavy, and letting Him be our strength on the days we have none.

 

Reflection question

Where do you notice despair, hopelessness, bitterness, complaining, ingratitude, or sin rising in your life right now – in your thoughts, your words, or your prayers? And where might God be inviting you to choose chara, deep, Spirit-given joy, instead?

 

Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You that Your joy is my strength. I lay down my despair, hopelessness, bitterness, complaining, ingratitude, and sin before You. Teach me Your chara – Your deep, abiding joy. Help me to rejoice in You always, to pray without ceasing, and to give thanks in all circumstances. Meet me in my heaviness, my pain, and my fatigue, and let Your joy sustain me even on the hardest days. In Jesus’ name. Amen.